By Jessica Whitehouse
Congrats, everyone. We made it—yet again—through another one of the weirdest years in history! Just when we thought 2020 felt like we were watching a gang of sloths doing a 5K, we all sat back and rang in 2021 – the year that was here to save us all. In it rolled as we all cheered, but by January 6th, we realized 2021 was really 2020 on the fast-track to hell in a handbasket. Holy moly… nothing had really changed, and, in fact, it got worse. Way worse. But for whatever reason, this year flew by in the blink of an eye. And here we are, scratching our heads at the end of the year, wondering how we arrived at the holiday season once again.
But as the world reopened, I felt the rush of “old normal” creeping back in. And I have to say, it feels weird. Really weird. Can we really forget that we lost nearly two years and just go back to the way things once were? I don’t think we can – yet. What things should stay, and what should go? We were pushed out of our comfort zone in so many ways and have learned so much… Do we really need to go back to the way it was?
Let’s reflect.
Should Stay: Appreciating the little things.
Last year, I spent some time with my best friend’s two little girls, ages 6 and 7. During our quick trip to Publix, they mentioned that one of the worst things about the pandemic (to them) was that Publix stopped handing out cookies. No cookies??? Wow, this had not even occurred to me! And while the rest of the world is worrying about sickness, unemployment, and making ends meet, our kids are sad because they were no longer allowed to have a cookie while shopping. Although the business side of my brain is also calculating how much money Publix saved by eliminating the cookies as a line item in its annual budget, but I digress. Reflecting on this, I would also venture to say that it isn’t really the cookie itself so much as the ‘experience’ of being gifted a cookie. A lovable act of giving and receiving. Maybe—just maybe—we should think about that for a second and appreciate what little things in our life bring us happiness.
Should Stay: Virtual reality. You. No, not you. YOU. The one who still does not know how to use Zoom and aimlessly points your video half on your face and half the ceiling… you can go. To those of us who do know how to use a mute button on Zoom, if you want to keep Zooming into meetings, you can stay.
At the end of the 2020 school year, we watched my kid’s honor night ceremonies virtually through YouTube. Normally this event involves rushing home from work, getting the kids dinner, dressed, and back to school on time and then sitting through 2-3 hours of names being read off for various awards and poking my husband several times as he starts to nod off. But last year, we were able to sit on the couch, in jammies, and only had to pay attention when our kid’s classes/names were being called. It was great! We turned the TV off and announced, “THIS SHOULD STAY!” But alas, the honors night program returned to normal in-person this year, and the familiar routine flooded in with the hustle and bustle as we hurried to make it to the event on time.
Now, I know these events make our kids excited and I know they take a lot of time for staff and teachers to put together. But maybe we should look into striking a better balance between in-person events and virtual events. Maybe we don’t need to show up for every event and should be given the chance to participate remotely. This year we all realized how much of our prior lives had revolved around going to seminars, conferences, and meetings (that could have been an email) and the pandemic proved that we can do all of these things from the comfort of our home (and pants optional so long as you can indeed operate your camera correctly!).
The pandemic was a dream come true for many introverts, but I saw plenty of extroverts who adapted and embraced the virtual life and, therefore, it should stay. But if you find yourself on a Zoom call saying to yourself, “We are 21 months into the pandemic and you still don’t know how to mute your microphone?!” then you are not alone. And if you aren’t saying that, then I’m here to tell you, YOU are the problem, and you can go.
Should Stay: The Village
Three years ago, my daughter nearly died, and her diagnosis was lifechanging for all of us. It took a village of medical experts to save her. My husband and I reflected on those weeks of her hospital stay when we just went into autopilot mode and how that time was an absolute blur. While that life chapter has improved, things got really hard for a lot of good people around me. I watched friends deal with death (some Covid-related), homelessness, losing jobs, health challenges, relationships dissolving, and more. No one was immune to hard times or the uncertainly of life, self-included. While I always try to find the humor in life situation, there were a few months when it felt like humor would be out of place and finding the funny moments were few and far between. This year I had to ask for help with my kids, my father, my job, and more. I changed the parts of me and my life I didn’t like. Accepted the parts I couldn’t change. I learned patience. I learned struggle. I learned to sit with my own feelings, as hard as they were. I leaned on friends and in turn they leaned on me.
We all have different villages of support and I hope you find yours. Thank you to my village people.
Should Go: Jerks
I have a cat named S’mores. If you know me, then you know I’m a huge animal lover, have spent most my life working in animal welfare, and most of my friends (and immediate family) consider me a “crazy animal lady.” So, hear me out when I tell you this… S’mores is an absolute jerk. She’s the worst cat I’ve ever had. I believe she is a result of inbred feral genetics mixed with an inferior cattitude and, therefore, I just shake my head every day and say, “There is something not right about you, S’mores…”.
The thing about S’mores is she doesn’t try to hide the fact that she’s a jerk. She will smack the other cats while they sleep. She will sit on my recliner while I try to work, pull back the blinds to look at birds out the window, then proceed to smack me in the face aggressively with her tail as she watches them. She doesn’t like to be told, “No, you cannot get on the counter” or “No, you cannot bring that lizard inside” and so on. She naps only on clean laundry piles and runs overtop my head at top speeds when I’m napping.
S’mores is rather proud of the fact that she’s a jerk.
And so are some of you.
It has become abundantly clear, that the world is not short on jerks. People are not short on their opinions and social media exasperates these people into thinking the world cares about their opinion and, therefore, they need to be heard. But truth is, and I’m here to tell you, we don’t need to hear them. So how do we strike a balance between, ‘Everyone is special in this world’ and ‘Please be quiet, we’ve heard enough’? Do you get what I mean though? It is not that someone isn’t important and shouldn’t exercise their freedom of speech… It’s just that not every thought you have is important and needs an announcement. At the end of the day, there are very few people who will change your mind from a post on social media. So get back to focusing on the good in your life. Post photos of your dog. Your kids. Scroll on. Focus not on being heard but being a better listener. Better yet, get out and actually do something to make the world a better place.
Year in Review: In between the bad parts of 2021, such as: My dad falling and breaking his neck and landing in the hospital; My daughter twisting her ankle and also falling and dislocating her knee, not once, but twice; and, the same daughter contracting Covid. There was plenty of good sprinkled in such as: My dad getting hearing aids (hallelujah); Catching a spot on my face early and having skin cancer removed; Both kids finding hobbies and sports they enjoyed and thrived in; My brother getting married; My daughter concluding PT on her knee last week; and I continued running and signed up for my first half marathon next month.
Looking back, I would give 2021 a 2.5-star Google review. Like every year, we have to take the good with the bad. I wish everyone a happy holiday season. May we be better humans to one another and may 2022 be a better year for everyone.
And for the love of Pete, don’t be like S’mores. She’s a cat and won’t change. But you can.
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About Life with Jess & Friends
Jessica Whitehouse, aka Jess, is a lifestyle writer and creator of Life with Jess & Friends. Her mission is to bring lighthearted humor to life situations including family, parenting, relationships, career, and all things in between. Find her on Facebook at @lifewithjessandfriends or email info@lifewithjessandfriends.com.
